Leadership?

As it is Veteran’s Day, my thoughts were provoked in reflection. First I love St. Martin of Tours, who I venerate as patron of veterans, considering he was a Roman soldier who had a radical conversion and later became a great saint. I wrote about him last year in my Drinking Companion blog.

This year however I was encouraged to write about leadership. I decided to listen to a podcast that Jocko Wilink was interviewed. He is a former navy seal trainer who’s influenced many in both the military and later in the business world. I figured I’d honor this day by listening to a veteran and what they learned in their service. No sooner than when I finished listening to this, my mom sent me a picture of my grandfather, who as a WWII veteran passed away on this day in 2012. This is why I decided to write on leadership, to honor this great leader in my life.

My grandfather is the American Dream on the most basic level. He was someone who rose above adversity and enjoyed a modest life with his family. That’s all most of want. Even though he wasn’t as extreme as a believer as me, no doubt he had his interior faith. That can happen when the world hardens you, but the main thing is never give up on God, He doesn’t give up on you.

I’d like to begin with the crap hand my grandfather was dealt. To begin his entire family came from Croatia and he was the first born here. By the time he was 16 years old his dad, mom and two siblings were gone, mostly tragic. One drowned in the Ohio River, another was hit by a truck, and I forget what happened to his parents. Nonetheless a pretty crappy start.

Then he served in the New Guinea region during WWII where he would climb 90 ft poles to install communications. Always a sniper target, but thankfully survived. However he would return home with Yellow Fever, and suffered greatly during that time where he welcomed death. It was in this moment he met my grandmother, who was his caretaker of sorts. She begged her family to take him in since he had no one to care for him. Shortly after they would marry and spend 67 years together through many challenges.

When I was basically fatherless because my father wasn’t faithful to my mom and was gone from our home by the time I was 5, my grandfather became my true father figure when I was rebellious, fighting my mom and sister in the house regularly. He always taught me these behaviors were unacceptable, and that as a man you have to let many things “roll off you”, otherwise they will consume you. He always had a hand and face gesture that he would use in this moment. It took a long time for me to finally realize this, and there was so much wisdom I missed, because I was too angry to listen when I was younger. However, his example has never left me, and it was later inspiration to find understanding of what is a right way to live.

In close I’d like to encourage a listen to the podcast that inspired me today, it echoed the no excuses mentality I had when I was younger. I still have that mentality, but I more so believe in accountability. While we can make no excuses for our failures, very often we will find ourselves in a vicious cycle of problems that keep reoccurring. In life and business this is usually a crack in the foundation. Whether it’s substance abuse, food abuse that causes health issues, or emotional abuse that causes fighting, and on and on. If we do not address a problem, eventually it takes over and we become trapped in an addiction of some sort, all the way down to something as simple as social media which can stifle our social behavior. I don’t need to go down the litany, but reality is if we look in the mirror and with great persistence, we can root something out, even if it takes years.

This is the point though, only you can fix your problems. If you blame someone else, you have now surrendered your freedom of choice to do anything in life. My personal goal the rest of this year will be to get in shape. I can blame the people that make bad foods, or my wife for buying to much and me not wanting to waste it, but in reality, I have made some poor choices and I now need to counter those poor choices.

My goal is to fast during Advent (pre Christmas), and fast from things I enjoy. I plan to discipline myself and wake up each morning and do a light work out with morning prayer to offset. We’ll see how it goes, but in all things, like starting a business, you have to have a target, then you have to make the plan and achieve the goal. Simple. No excuses, just practice until you hit the target. Eventually if you are accountable, you’ll figure out what is the obstacle to your goal, and you’ll find a way around it or through it.

A little memorial to my grandfather in my altar shrine area.