Fear is not real, but

It is False Evidence Appearing Real that can cripple us into doing nothing.

As I meet people and get to know them, this always resonates with me, the saying “there I go, if not for the grace of God.” Those words are most likely inspired by St. Paul 1 Cor 15:10. There’s a litany of things I changed in my life, thanks to God’s grace and my accepting of it. I had to turn away from the fear that discouraged me that “I can’t”.

To save us both from scandal I will not bother listing them, because it is truly embarrassing the person I once was. That person would not really be recognizable to you, much less believed. I, in many ways was just like St. Paul. I had a past that was nothing to boast about. I freely do talk about my struggles though, because empathy does help us realize we’re not the only ones, which is what often led to my deep depression. Reality was my struggles weren’t much different than any other human being.

With that said, this isn’t a blog of woe to me, but thanks be to God for overcoming the darkness and fear that discouraged me from starting my business. This blog is about building a business and I’d like to focus on that. I want to share my challenges to encourage you, it’s never easy, but it’s very rewarding once you jump the hurdles, or find your way around them. The key is always move forward, look back only to learn from mistakes and see how far you’ve come. Don’t dwell on it too long though, because you have to keep planning as best as you can for the future, although most of the time, nothing goes according to plan, so be ready to discern and adapt.

This brings me to acronym of F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. In order to overcome this, we have to sacrifice. That’s on us to discern, but as Jesus Christ teaches us, it takes sacrifice in order to obtain a resurrected new life. This is what it took to finally start my business. Previously I was waiting for people I worked with to give me a piece of ownership in the work I did for them, considering I was fixing a lot of problems in their businesses. However I guess you could say it was like fixing someone’s house. You pay someone to fix it when it falls into disrepair, but you don’t get ownership of it until you go and buy your own with the necessary investment. I struggled to understand this since handouts sound so much easier, unfortunately they’re never sustainable, because we never value something unless our work was invested into it. There’s dignity in this which brings value to our experience.

With that said it was my investments in myself and my learning that encouraged my dedication to my craft. After buying my $100 Ethiopian Coffee ceremony set, then to the other small pieces of equipment over time, to my eventual investment in a roaster, that went from a $2500 investment to a $4500 surprise, I kept trusting the process despite the constant challenges and shifting frustrations. This includes the hurdles of compliance with local governments, and other requirements like buying a new truck under the business only to find out you are now tripling your insurance along with your car payment. These things can cause concerns, but I am always reminded of a piece of advice, that I heard in a video I was watching. It was about buying a roaster, “never invest in something if you aren’t willing to accept the loss”. In addition, I always decided I would only incur debt that I could pay off with a minimum wage job, God forbid this would happen. However I always like to have a mild backup plan, which is why I never want too much debt, if any. Bankruptcy isn’t fun from what I hear, in addition others should not be responsible for my poor choices if it should come to that.

While I am not a millionaire, nor do I have the desire to be one, I woke up this morning as I do everyday thanking God for the business I now have that provides me a very reasonable income, that allows me to do all the things I want for myself and others. My birthday was a reminder. In the past when I paid for a meal for my friends/co workers that would be a whole paycheck sometimes. It was frustrating and my charity was limited by my circumstances. With all things like the business, this too continues to grow. The miracle has been to plant the mustard seed and let it grow. Too often we just look at the tiny seed and say “What’s the point of planting this? I just want the mustard”. However the point isn’t the instant gratification, instead it’s the effort of the growth process, which leads to a sustainable life, not just financially, but mentally. In all things, I am now confident when I plant something, it’s going to grow eventually, even if it takes my lifetime, it will happen. This should be our metaphor for life and business. I am reminded about this through my Catholic faith.

Shortly after Jesus’ Resurrection there were 2 movements. There was “Those of The Way”, which was one of the earliest names for the eventual Christians aka the New Jerusalem, and then there was Simon Bar Kokhba, a Jewish military leader that sought a political restoration of Jerusalem. The Christians were slaughtered regularly, never in a military fashion, just simply for not engaging in the pagan worlds ways of the fleshly desires and believing that Jesus rose from the dead and political persecution.

Then there was Bar Kokhba who some thought was the messiah the people were looking for, after the temple was destroyed in 70 AD. He had a Jewish state for about 3 years, before the Romans wiped he and his army out. However nearly 300 years after Jesus’ death and Resurrection the Christians eventually overcame the Roman Empire without a war, but instead acceptance because the more they died, the more they grew through their sacrifice. This taught me a lot in life to go where God leads you. I won’t berate you with more details, you can research this for yourself, there’s a lot of great Catholic commentary on this with great historical detail. It’s great to cross references from Josephus (Jewish) to Tacitus (Roman) to see this was something that really happened in history. With that established, 2000 years later, there’s only one of these movements that remain. Despite the human flaws that undermine Her growth, and sticking to the foundation of sacrifice, the Church continues to change the world for the good, and is very much the model for the corporate world sadly. However I would like to counter and say this all began small, in the homes of everyday people. This is how we individually can change our communities, individually with the right foundation. Start your small business and be the change you want. If you are following in the footsteps of Jesus, who never physically fought, but prayerfully fought in peace, the blessings will come. Treat your competition as you would want to be treated as well. This also why I like talking about other companies, I’m not interested in hoarding the business for myself, but like the church, I want to help others find what they are looking for. I’m not afraid of going out of business, if God is truly in control, all is always provided and if I can share this with other businesses, it’s great for us all. We should encourage each other, instead of the tear down society we currently see everywhere.

One of my favorite images, inspired through my uncle, who was a Redemptorist Father. Our Lady of Perpetual Help shares the theology of Jesus learning about his fate, and running to his mother for consolation. Like his mother, they both had faith over fear at the end of the story.