August Drinking Companion
Since I forgot to post last months drinking companion I figured I would double up this month with St. Monica and St. Augustine, 2 saints that are close to me in many ways, especially in my current path to marriage. They share back to back feast days August 27 and 28. St. Monica who was the mother of Augustine is know for being the typical mother, who is a devout Catholic Christian, that prayed fervently for the conversion of her child, usually is the case with the males in the family. Augustine on the other hand is known as the prodigal child who roamed the world seeking all the pleasures it offered while pursuing an understanding through philosophies at the time. Eventually as life would usually have it, he came across a great teacher who challenged his understandings, and through St. Ambrose of Milan, Augustine eventually succumbed to the fullness of truth, that Jesus Christ offered through His Catholic Church. Confessions is the book St. Augustine wrote about his life and conversion for further reference.
I don’t want to bore you though early on with lots of historical facts, and church teachings, instead as I like to do, I want to share the presence of these two saints in my life, and how through them, God’s grace shined in my life. In 2017 after many years of discernment and doubt, I finally decided to surrender and take a shot at the priesthood, applying to a religious group. That religious group approved and accepted me at the end of April that year and I was set to join them in the first week of August. I packed my clothes, sold my car, gave up my place of living and I moved to New Jersey for a month where I would spend time with my mom, since her partner of 28 years had just passed away. After this month I was set to move to Ohio where I anticipated going through formation and eventual seminary.
One week before I was set to join this group, I received an email accusing me that I withheld information from my vocation director. It was a short conversation as I felt no need to defend myself, since it was in my paperwork the whole time, and I was accused of saying too much early in my vocation process. Thirty minutes later I received an email stating I was no longer welcomed. This was very frustrating and hurtful considering this group promotes God’s mercy, yet I was now being punished for something I did 20 years earlier, despite confessing, because the vocation director was afraid I might “scandalize” them due to the current climate in the church.
As I began to search for answers, I began to test the waters in different areas asking God to clarify what was going on. I jumped on a website called Catholic Match, one that I had been on previously for 15 months and met some friends through, nothing more. I decided to try it for 1 more month, at the very least hoping to meet some like minded friends, since I was beginning to feel isolated in New Jersey. August 28 my life would change due to that decision and the intercession of these 2 saints.
On August 28 I noticed a woman named Monica had viewed my profile, and whenever this happens I always try to say something encouraging to the person, since something drew them to at least look. In her case I said “I’m not sure if you celebrate your namesake day, but yesterday was the feast of St. Monica and happy belated feast day.” She began to talk and ask questions since my profile said I wanted to be a priest, and things had not worked out. She later shared, my well wishes peaked her interest since it’s only something her mom would say to her. Previously she had skipped over my profile due to having no interest in competing with God, because I felt called to priesthood. Fast forward two years later, and we are engaged and preparing for marriage this December.
It’s been a challenging road and everyday continues to be a struggle in discerning the future as nothing seems to ever go as I plan or hope for, but in the end God’s will is always done and I am very happy. I continue to live out my priesthood through my baptismal promises as we all individually are called to do. I still know God has a bigger plan for my vocation down the road. Between Father William Murphy of North Carolina who ordained at the age of 80 years old (and faithfully served as a priest for 16 years), and my spiritual director of 4 years who was recently ordained at the age of 65, a married Eastern Catholic priest. I trust in the vision that God has promised since the day I read Habakkuk 2, which was part of leading me back to the Church in October of 2010.
In close I want to touch on a great quote by St. Augustine, the same St. Augustine who is known for solidifying the books that are in the Bible through the Council of Hippo and Carthage, in addition to fighting many wrong teachings during his time. He is known for the quote “Hate the sin, and love the sinner.” I have come to see we have confuse this great quote. We either Hate the sin and the sinner, or we love the sin and the sinner now days, blurring lines and normalizing sin. One great example is abortion. We’ve watered down the the destruction of a physical human being, to mere birth control and pretending it is not an actual life. I use the most dramatic example, but I always like to note there’s mercy for us all, we just have to simply acknowledge we made a mistake (confession), it happens to every human being in difficult times.
Sadly as I have shared in my own life, the Church is no different than the people (since it is the people who make up the body of Christ), we do not understand things clearly anymore. The priest abuse scandals is another great example, of how not only did we love the sinner who was committing grave acts, but then we loved their sin by not holding them accountable and acknowledging something is wrong with their behavior (which was both hetero and homosexual). I could write a book if I was bored enough to do so, but what would that really accomplish? I would just be another voice in a crowded field. Instead I simply want to encourage us through the help and intercession of St. Augustine and St. Monica, that our conscience will be illuminated, and may we return to the 2 simple commandments Jesus gave us. Love God with all your heart, and treat others as you wish to be treated. In doing this, we will see a lot of our inconsistencies.
In loving God we will return to the teachings of His Church, and in treating others as we wish to be treated, we will extend that same Divine Mercy, we claim to want and share with others. It’s important to note we often deny and contradict this by being legalistic Pharisees, burdening others with the law, while hardly doing anything to uphold it ourselves, something Jesus greatly disliked. Through these drinking companions may we have a healthier dialogue and understanding with each other.
